Tuesday, February 23, 2016

Miss H

Who has two thumbs, a lot of snot in her nose right now, AND a new therapist? THIS GIRL.

This is her third therapist, and each has worked on different aspects of her life. The other two were good - we got along with both of them, they helped her (and us). But this new one... she is amazing. She specializes in adoption and issues that arise out of situations like ours. She has so much energy, GOOD energy, and it is obvious she loves her job. But she's also sarcastic and funny and knows how hard this parenting thing is.

We're only on our third session, but Miss H and Maddie connected immediately. Maddie loves her, and Miss H delights in Maddie. Miss H is big on "reflection," which is essentially paying attention to your kid and reflecting back what you see. ("I love the colors you chose for that lego tower!" or "I see you are really excited!") We've learned this technique before as a bundle with other techniques, but Miss H seems to think this is the most important one, and she does it throughout the entire session with Maddie. This is what she wants us to work on. 

When our first therapist taught us this technique, she said it very matter-of-factly, as though she were giving us instructions on how to deal with a child we were babysitting. But Miss H said, "I promise you, this is the best thing you can do for her. You will be exhausted. It is exhausting. But it works." 

I said, "Do you have kids?" And the reason I asked was because I was thinking how she SHOULD have kids. 

She said, "Yep. Five. All adopted." 

My mouth hit the floor. She said, "The best stuff I've learned is not stuff I learned in school, but stuff I learned from parenting. And reflection will change your life."

She also said what no other therapist has said. "When you feel like you can't take it and you're ready to lose your mind and strangle her, call me. You reflect with Maddie, and you call ME and scream at ME. You tell me what's working and what's not working. You call me and we can talk about anything you want, any time you want." I almost cried. I didn't, but I felt like I might. 

We've been lucky to have had good experiences with all of Maddie's therapy, but this is the first time I feel like we are working with someone who has been in the trenches, someone who GETS what it is that's happening. She is so. good. And I want her to move in with us. I suggested this. She thought I was joking. I'm not.

Here is a video from the tail end of therapy last night:

1 comment:

maidel said...

As someone who is adopted and who loves her mom, I still could've used more reflecting. You are an amazing mom, Katie.