Friday, October 29, 2004

I Heart Soccer Moms

Monday morning, I met my friend for a cup of coffee at the Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf on the corner of Laurel Canyon and Ventura before we both headed to our mutual place of employment. I'm always intrigued by the people I see at this place... I'm usually there when there's a rush: weekday mornings, everyone blindly in line for any drug that will get them through the first four hours of their morning. And of course, in Los Angeles (more appropriately, The Valley), everyone's work outfit is different. Usually I see a few people dressed similar to myself: comfortable jeans, comfortable shirt, comfortable shoes. I also see Business People, with important folders overflowing with important documents, late for important meetings, buying important lattes.

Now these people don't surprise me. The people that surprise me are the people sitting outside at the tables at 8:30 on a weekday morning, seemingly with nothing better to do than to come to the CBTL in Studio City. Do these people work? Are they actors? I don't get these people.

I saw a new breed of people at the CBTL this past Monday. I'm a people-watcher by nature; my eyes scan every crowd. I strode into the CBTL, head up, friend at my side, and I saw five women, all between 32 and 38. One of them was half-minding a three year old boy who was coloring. As I walked by, I heard one of them say, "When Jeffrey was born..." My heart started beating a wee bit faster as I realized what this pack was: a Mommy Group.

These weren't just any mommies. These were sexy mommies. These women were beautiful. They were LA moms with busy schedules but a lot of love for their children. Stay-at-home moms who come to CBTL when they can get a sitter for a morning.

I don't know what it is about women who are mothers that is so attractive to me. I'm attracted to women older than myself - their confidence, their perspective, the beginnings of little lines around their eyes. But you put a kid into that mix... you give me a beautiful woman who is also a good mom... forget about it. I don't know if it's because I want to be a mom myself... or maybe it's because these moms are so different from the midwestern moms I grew up knowing... whatever it is, these women were HOT (and straight), and to be honest, if there were a group of hot lesbians standing next to these moms, I would have been still staring at the moms.

Is that bad?

Wednesday, October 13, 2004


"why do people learn how to surf? they get bruised, busted, beaten by the ocean, but when they finally learn, it's heaven."

that's what chrissie said to me in our middle-of-the-day two hour phone conversation (love that free mobile-to-mobile... they NEVER stop working for us!) as i choked back tears, circling around the answer to my current girl problem. i was running errands for work and we chatted the whole time, about love, politics, girls, the EX factor, fire extinguishers, fires, babysitters and marriage (gay AND straight, successful ones AND those that end in murders). i'm grateful for her... she's a good listener and a loyal girl.

in any case, her surfing reference was typical coming from her, yet beautiful because she knows. she surfs. and she's been in love. and it made sense. it's an audition, and practice makes perfect, and as sandra bernhard says: "i always love very deeply"... and something about learning to love stronger and deeper with each relationship. (exact quote to come)

i'm the girl who always says to her friends, "things happen for a reason. people come in and out of your life for very specific reasons at very specific times." and i get that, and it's easy to say. what's not easy is tempting fate in such a way where you risk losing out, with the persistent underlying doubt that you might be making a mistake.

it's trite. i know, you don't have to tell me.

maybe i cut out the love factor completely and return to that girl i was before i ever fell in love: passionate about so many OTHER things... film, theater, writing, friends. i'm fine on my own. i just miss her. that's it. i wonder if it's nostalgia and the cinematic "romance" of our story... a feeling that causes me to scream, "this CAN'T be how this ENDS."

i'm going to ignore it for a while and concentrate on the election. gotta have SOMETHING to piss me off at least once a day.

Tuesday, October 05, 2004

Where the I-15 meets the 79...

i went to pechanga this weekend. i have no issue giving them bad publicity. a good friend of mine sticks to the idea that if you're gonna gamble, you go to vegas. i naively believed the billboards: "Vegas Fun close to home!" first off, it's NOT close to home. unless your home is temecula. and who lives in temecula? secondly, the comparing pechanga to vegas is like comparing... well, i can't think of what it's like comparing, but that's not the point. you lose money in both places. but at pechanga, you're not really having any fun.

there were TWO five dollar black jack tables in the whole casino. i waited 20 minutes to lose $60. the dealer was an asshole, and seemed very new. he kept trying to be cool with the cards and kept fumbling. he didn't have patience for new players at the table, and wasn't offering any help. the dealers in vegas want you to win. this guy didn't want you to win. you would have thought he was playing with his own money.

the ONE good thing about the casino is that they have a non-smoking section. but that's it. the drinks aren't free, the waitresses aren't cute, and the people aren't interesting.

on a better note, i heard a song today by an artist i had never heard of, and as luck would have it, she's singing at the Hotel Cafe this friday. i loved the song... and will be at the show for sure, before hitting the abbey for what promises to be a night of note.

i love the fall.