File this under "I'm somehow not surprised."

I have this friend who I have been friends with for just about 10 years. I met her in college, and we've remained close. She moved to LA in 1998 - I moved here in 2000. I lived with her for a few weeks when I moved here, until I got on my feet. I think of her as one of my closest friends, certainly one of my closest friends in LA.

The thing about both of us living here is we never really see each other. She lived an hour north of LA for a while, and then she moved an hour and a half south of LA, so while she was still "close," it wasn't close enough for us to regularly see each other. Then some time last year, she moved to Hollywood, five minutes from where I was living. Still, we never found time for one another. We constantly played phone tag, constantly wanting to meet up, constantly finding other things to do.

Now, I love this girl to death, but she is flaky. I mean, I've become flaky in my old age, but she has always been flaky. It's become a lovable quirk about her, and she never means to be disrespectful or hurtful - she's just forgetful. In the 10 years I've known her, she will, without fail, call me the day after my birthday to wish me a Happy Birthday. She is convinced my birthday is on September 10th, not September 9th. However, throughout the past six years, no matter how flaky both of us have become, our friendship has continued to grow stronger, and I'm grateful for her.

In the same breath, I have to say I was not prepared to hear of her latest adventure. I got a phone call from a mutual friend last week, saying he ran into her at home (in Ohio). Turns out, she moved home. MOVED HOME. TO OHIO. And she never called me before she left. I last saw her in February, and I think I last spoke to her in May. I tried to call her several times between May and July and she never returned my call. Apparently, she packed her shit in a U-Haul, and took a six day trip across the country. She's now living with her parents and looking for a job. And she still. hasn't. called. me.

There's a very, very small part of me, I've realized, that's jealous of this. But it's the same part of me that wishes I were back in college, with all of my college friends - a wish that's normal, but that can never be realized. Just like for me, moving back to Ohio to live with my parents, that's me wishing for something that doesn't even exist anymore.

I'm going home this weekend, just for the weekend!, and I'm hoping to see her. But again... I technically still don't know that she's gone... and I know she doesn't read this... so.... well, that's my story.