Monday, June 12, 2006

Cut the shit, Britney! and other Ack! files

Britney Spears will be appearing on the Today show on Thursday. Seems Brit forgot that she's fired any stylist that ever worked for her, because she looks terrible. I know she's pregnant... but I think pregnant women are HOT. Britney? Not hot right now. She needs to tone down the bad makeup and put some more clothes on. It makes me sad. Britney, come back to us! Dump the loser and come back!

In other news, and this is my only note from the Ack! files, I read on my favorite news source, Huffington Post that Tom Cruise wants to convert Angelina to Scientology. Have you ever heard me say that Angelina can do no wrong? Well, I lied. Scientology would make me lose all respect for her. It's a fool's religion, created by some science fiction writer to make MONEY. He knew that was the best way to make MONEY - create a religion. This would be okay by me if the religion made any sense at all. Perhaps I need to be some high level operating thetan to understand why I should believe some guy who, 40 years ago, proclaimed that we're all descended from alien pods or some similar bullshit. Perhaps I need to pay hundreds of dollars to be audited to different levels so I can understand why Scientology thinks homosexuality can be, or more importantly NEEDS to be, cured. Also, maybe Jenna Elfman can teach me, for a discounted fee, why she thinks AIDS is a STATE OF MIND and not a disease that deserves funding, and then how she can, in good conscience, seven years later, attend an AIDS benefit hosted by Elton John. And finally, how do you make me believe that psychiatry is not a science? Who are you to tell me that? Who are you to tell the whole world that? It's poisonous, and it's not helping anyone. The Scientologists are minimizing many people's problems, including people that are very close to me. Who knows? Maybe we are over-medicated as a country. But there are some people that need medication that science has to offer, and they should not be made to feel like their suffering is invalid, or can be cured by clearing their mind (and their wallets).

I'm a fairly accepting person when it comes to religion, as I think that every religion requires a leap of faith, and I respect that and appreciate that. But this... this religion is ridiculous and foolish. I'm sure there are good things about it, but it seems like those good things are only yours if you promise to keep paying the church and keep learning, and some of the teachings do, in fact, include something about aliens and 75 million years ago, and Xenu and pods and a volcano.

So Angie, please... no Scientology.

(The comfort: HuffPo's link about this story was to the National Enquirer, and it's one of her tongue-in-cheek blurbs that she often throws on her website - stories that are sort of non-news but make you shake your head and roll your eyes.)

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